A Mind-Blowing Experience

A friend of mine sent me a link to Youtube to check out this short clip. He said it was mind-blowing.

The moment I was thinking how astounding can that be, I saw a man put a bullet in his head.

Indeed, it was mind-blowing.

Smoking II

Why smoking can never be banned?


"It's in the dictionary. You can never ban someone from saying that. Idiot!"

How To Bump Into Taylor Swift

Sam: Drive down the road with your rickety piece of junk to Taylor's University at Subang Jaya. When you set foot in the campus, head to the parking lot. Locate a Suzuki Swift, then suit yourself.

Alex: It'll be rather convenient if you already own a Suzuki Swift, however.

Heroes Special

During a discussion session about the environmental issues around the globe, the teacher asked the students to each point out a way to save the world.


Sam: Save the cheerleader.

Teacher: Sammy, can you justify your answer?

Sam: Save the cheerleader, save the world. Didn't you watch Heroes? Dumbass!

Successful Some-Guy

Alex and Sam have been arguing on and on about some guy Alex has been seeing.


Alex: You have no idea how great that guy is!

Sam: Oh yea. I know.

Alex: Stop being satirical. You're acting like a jerk.

Sam: You want to keep seeing him? Fine! Knock yourself out.

Alex: I don't get it. Why do you react like this when I finally found someone successful.

Sam: Yea. Sucks-cessful.


For two weeks, Alex did not speak to Sam ever since.

21st Century Wars

Alex needed some information pertaining to any wars occurred in the 21st century.

Without hesitation, the amicable Sam sent her some of the video clips showing himself off - gaming the World of Warcraft.

Facebook Fever

Sam: Are you on Facebook?

Alex: No.

Sam: Me neither! What a coincidence!

Alex: Tee-hee.


Truth is, the conversation above took place on Facebook. And they are utterly oblivious to the fact!

Nuts II

Due to a fracas occurred in the class, Sam was getting really fed up with the students' behaviour. In front of the nut-type class, including hazelnuts, peanuts, walnuts, chestnuts and etc., he blurted out the only unsayable yet the seemingly right thing.

"Are you nuts?!"

And he feels silly.

Movie Days, Yay

It is movie day again, Wednesday, a most-of-the-people-enjoy day. Though the movie day falls on Wednesday in Malaysia, it might be different in your country. But, who cares? It's movie day!


Alex: Hey, do you wanna catch that movie? What is it called? The Eat-Pray-Love?

Sam: Yeah, sure. It sounds like a seemingly nice movie.

Alex: Whatever. Meet me at the cinema at 3 in the afternoon.

Sam: Wait a minute. 3PM sharp?

Alex: No. Blunt.

Special Occasion Special Treat

It was Alex's birthday and Sam decided to throw her a surprise party. Here is what happened when Alex walked right into the apartment.

Alex was astonished when she saw all kinds of birds perching all around the living room. Alex was like, "What the hell?!", then she heard something.


Sam: Happy Bird Day! :-D

Get Your Free Ride Here

You know how people say, that they put in so much effort just to end up at the same place? You poured in all your invaluable energy and time but what did you get? Freaking nothing in return. Something is just not worth doing. We hate it. Don't we?

We're sure most of you have experienced it. Despite that, we offer you a free ride to go through all that crap in just seconds. Yes. You heard us right. Seconds. Savour the short yet ineffable moments. All you gotta do is to click on here. Have fun.

How I Met Your Mother Special

Kids, it happened six years ago. So Alex was hanging out with a group of How I Met Your Mother fans, when Sam stepped into the cafeteria. Alex waved. Sam walked over.


Sam: Hey, guys. What were you talking about?

Alex: We are playing a little game.

Sam: Interesting. What game?

Alex: The Must-Use-Barney's-Quotes-In-Every-Sentence game.

Sam: You just made that up, didn't you?

Alex: We invented that. Each of us are required to use Barney's quotes whenever we speak. Wanna play?

Sam: Sure. What's the stake?

Alex: The winner takes it all ~

Sam: Cool. Who is this Bunny, anyway? Like the one who likes carrot?

Definition of Genius

After checking up the definition of stupid (refer to here should you missed the previous post), Sam thought of a brilliant idea to please himself. He then get back to the dictionary and locate the word 'genius'.

The definition of the word 'genius' is as follows:


"You? Not in a million years."

10 Shortcuts To Losing Weight

Yes. There are shortcuts to losing weight. We understand that a variety of reports/articles had claimed that there is no shortcut to weight loss. But they were wrong. Consider the following noble shortcuts:


1) Throw away your weighing machine.

2) Stay away from a mirror.

3) Stay away from anything that reflects light.

4) Get a carnival mirror. (The kind that can only make you slimmer.)

5) Jump off a building. (The frictional force helps.)

6) Drink oil. (Oil is lighter than water, scientifically proven.)

7) Keep a vase. (Pick a sexy/slim-shaped. You might look like it someday.)

8) Stay away from people. (You look smaller from a distance.)

9) Change your name to Slimmy. (You sound slimmish.)

10) Do yourself a favour. Stop looking for shortcuts!

10.10.10 Special

It was 6.42 in the evening. Sam received a text message on his cell, from Alex. However, Sam only replied after an hour.


Alex: Do you realise today is 10.10.10? It will never come across our lives again.

Sam: Now that you mention it, what have you done in this auspicious day?

Alex: You won't believe it. I spent the whole day sleeping! What about you?

Sam: I just woke up.


You should realise by now, that Alex and Sam live under the same roof, yet they texted each other. When was the last time you texted your friend?

Happy 10.10.10


:D :D

Peace Talks

The conversation below takes place when a thug chases Sam till the end of a street.


Sam: I demand peace.

Thug: Oh really?

Sam: Yes. Please.

Thug: How do I know this is not a booby trap?

Sam: God! Look at my pants! Tell me you don't think I just pissed.

Thug: You're disgusting.

Sam: What?! I told you I wanted to Piss.

Sensitivity Of Insects

Everybody reads Reader's Digest.


Butterfly: Look what I've found!

Snail: Yeah?

Butterfly: The latest RD October issue! It says "How to Keep Your Bones Healthy."

Snail: Why do I find this offensive?

Butterfly: Er... At least you have a shell. ><!

Messing With Directions

Why do people always say be-right-back right before they go away?


Sam: True. Who'd give a damn about the direction they will be coming back, right?

Alex: Or left. :-D

Paintball Competition

Alex: Hey, do you want to join the paintball competition? It's just 20 bucks.

Sam: Don't be ridiculous. Why would I want to spend 20 bucks to paint a ball. Or balls.

Definition of Stupid

According to Sam, Alex had earlier asked him to seek out the meaning of 'stupid' in the dictionary. This is what he found.

The definition of the word 'stupid' is as follows:


"Someone who looks up the word 'stupid' in a dictionary."

The Top 10 You Better Find Out

My sincere apologies.

Sam's currently TOPless. With Alex? Nah. You don't want to know.

Rain check?

Pity Ken

Ken, a student who always gets on my nerves. So help me God, do not let me catch you breaking the rules.

Nevertheless, this is life. Ken got caught. And I've been granted the honour to give him the strokes. Guess what did I say to him prior to...


"Any last words? Finally! Oh Kenny, don't you think this is ironic? Ken's getting Caned."

How Special Do You Think

Glancing at the cover of the Reader's Digest, Alex told Sam that there is this "7th Annual Humour Special" in the magazine. As she wonders how special it is, Sam opines by saying it's not very special.

Again, Alex wonders why. Unable to withstand her stupidity, Sam asks this in reply,

"Think about it. If it were to be very special, don't you think they would have put it "7th Annual Humour VERY Special?"

Yummy

I love mooncakes, but they're not yummy with yam filling. I just don't like it. They are yammy.

Green Thumb

Sam has a big family who loves gardening. He always thinks that he has the green thumb. Not to be sarcastic, but he just doesn't have it.

One day, he thought that he has found a recipe, but he doesn't want to keep that to himself. Sam wants to share. Now, he is generous.

After spending half of the day gathering everyone in the living room, Sam takes out a book. No, a magazine, says Reader's Digest on top of it. And he speaks,

"I didn't read it first because I didn't want to be selfish. I'm sure everybody loves money. Now, look at what I've discovered. Voila! A new column in RD - Money Savvy - which teaches us how to grow money!"

Medical Breakthroughs

As usual, Sam reads the papers in the morning. When he flips to a page and notices the headline as saying, "Biggest Medical Breakthroughs of 2010", he turns to his mom and asks,

"Have you read this? Is Medical hurt? Why did they break through her?"

Missing Recipe

Sam just got his hands on the latest issue of Reader's Digest, as he reads the cover, he saw a circle with the words "Your Recipe For Happiness Inside" written in it. He then mumbled,

"What about Outside? Next issue?"

A Tale of Two Robots

Everybody reads Reader's Digest.

The story - "A Tale of Two Robots on Mars" - has been published in the RD August 2010 issue.

On Mars, upon seeing that, Alex and Sam screamed aloud to alarm their counterparts, saying,

"We've been infiltrated by the humans!"

AIDS

When Sam saw the statement - "Cancer Prevention, New Diabetes Therapies, And a Vaccine for AIDS..." - he turned to his mom and ask,

"Is there a vaccine for the remaining 22 letters?"

Nuts

Sam, a new substitute teacher, who has been warned by the headmaster about the class he has been assigned to, telling Sam the students are nuts.

The moment he was thinking, "how crazy can they be, right?", Sam realized he was standing in front of a nut-type class, including walnuts, peanuts, chestnuts, hazelnuts...

Smoking

Do you want a smoking joke?

Let me ask you a question. Why shouldn't smoking be banned?
In fact, why you shouldn't think that smoking ought to be banned?

Because you're smoking hot! :-P