Good Driver

Unable to withstand the snail-like behavior of Alex driving down the road, Sam decided to take over the wheel.


Sam: Hey, tardy Alex! I'm gonna need you to pull over.

Alex: What?! Why?

Sam: Do you even have a license?

Alex: Of course.

Sam: I sincerely doubt that.

Alex: Don't be an idiot. I'm a good at driving.

Sam: Yea. Me-Crazy. That's what you're driving!

Serious Pillow Talks

Alex has been tossing and turning on bed. She couldn't fall asleep because of the obnoxious project.


Alex: Set me free.

Sam: Set you on fire seems rather interesting.

Alex: Get out of my mind! (Yes, they are telepath-ing.)

Sam: How did you find out I'm in your mind?

Alex: You're so dead.

Sam: Alright then. If this is what you want, I now pronounce you a freed-Alex.

Alex: Thank you!

Sam: Don't mention it. And good luck on your project!

Alex: Tee-hee.

Sam: Aren't you gonna thank me again?

Gross Posing System

Sam likes to second guest everything. He has trust issues. However, heading to an exotic city, he is going to need a GPS. Sam refers it to Gross Posing System. Yes. He does not like how it poses in the car.

Anyway, after spending half day on the road, Sam did not manage to get to whatever place he was going. Why? Alex will tell you why.

Alex: This idiot never listened to the directions told!

This is what had transpired, again and again and again and again and again.

********


GPS: In three hundred meters, turn left.

Sam: Yea. Like I'd believe you.

How Common Do You Say

Alex: How common do you find common sense common?

Sam: Common-wealth?

Dirty Sports

Alex: Sam! Do you want to play baseball?

Sam: First base, second base or third?

Alex: How dare you... You know what?! I was thinking of a home run, but bases are fine.

Sam: Damn!

Serious Readings

As usual, Sam was reading a story - Fishing in Miagao - written by Florence Yul N. Saquian. The story narrates a small seaside town that taught the author so much about the world. (Alex thought in case you ponder, you can have a read here.)

Anyway, when Sam reads through this particular part "I would also hunt for beetles that fed on the buds at the apex of the trees and invent new monkey swings. But every time I did that, I would end up breaking an arm", instead of making him sentimental, he wondered,


"Seriously, how many arms do you have?"

Not Enough Time?

Alex: Heck! I'm running out of time! I need more time!

Sam: Why are you running out of time when you need more time? You should stay in it instead of running out of it! Isn't it?

Paintball Competition II

After Sam's refusal to join the competition (part I - here), Alex braced herself to face the challenge.

Surprisingly, Alex turned out to be the first runner-up of the paintball competition. As the organiser put it,

"Congratulations to our first runner-up, who successfully painted 27 balls in ten minutes."


Yea. It really was a paint-ball competition. Sam was right, always.

A Beautiful Misunderstanding

The conversation below took place at a stairway. Sam was standing on the top, and Alex was standing on the bottom.


Sam: I'm gonna beat the crap out of you!

Alex: Come down, man.


It ended up with Sam beating the crap out of Alex. After a few weeks, Sam apologised to Alex.


Sam: I'm sorry.

Alex: I told you to calm down but you never listened.

Milo's Best Ambassador

Who do you think it would be the best ambassador for Nestle Milo?

Sam: Baby Milo!

Alex: Or, Milo Ventimiglia. Your pick.

Now This Is Awkward

Alex walks into the living room while Sam is sitting on the couch, her favourite seat. She then gets furious and asks him to immediately vacate the chair.


Sam: You know what? I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna sit still.

Alex: Fine!


Alex has never been so angry. Now, Sam wonders if this is worth it. After a few minutes...


Sam: Do you mind to take over for a while? I gotta go...leave for a bit.

Alex: Where to?

Sam: I'm just gonna do...something.

Alex: What?

Sam: Answer a call.

Alex: What call? I hear nothing.

Sam: Erm... Nature's call.

Your Guide To Investing, bla bla & bla bla bla

Alex saw the latest issue of Reader's Digest, which says "Your Guide to Investing, Saving & Making the Most of Your Money" on its cover. She told Sam about it and started asking questions.


Alex: What do you know about that?

Sam: I know it's not a tour guide.

Ales: What?

Sam: The guide.

Alex: Yes... Of course.

Sam: Maybe it's a girl. You know, girl guide?

Barbecue In The Rain

Amazing thing happens when you barbecue in the rain.

You get free soup!

Simplify Your Words

They say, a powerful way to achieve effective communication, is to simplify your words. Right now; right here, we are gonna prove this wrong to you.


Sam: Hey, Alex. What are you doing?

Alex: I'm eating chicken chop, apple pie and some desserts.

Sam: You know. You could have simplified your words.

Alex: How?

Sam: Just say you're gaining weight.

Alex: !@#$%^&*()


See? Not so effective after all.

I Know What You Want, Yea

When you are desperate to get something out from someone, who insists to not give it to you, you may consider the following solution. (Remember. Only when you're desperate enough.)


Alex: Seriously, give that to me.

Sam: No way.

Alex: Don't make me do this to you.

Sam: Oh yea? What are you going to do? Hit me?

Alex: No. But... Baby, if you give it to me, I'll give it to you, I know what you want, you know I got it...


Sam handed over to Alex. But that's an isolated case. Alex knows what he wants. And in your case, odds are, you won't get it.

It's A Gift From God

"I can improvise under basically any circumstances, it's a gift from God," Sam claimed. Alex did not believe nor give a shit about that. A week later, Alex came to realise...


Alex: Hey, Sam! Do you know of someone who did aeronautical study?

Sam: Absolutely.

Alex: Oh yeah? Name one.

Sam: Erm... Aerosmith. Told you, it's a gift.

Steps To Gaining Weight

First step, eat.

There is no second step.

When Animals Fall From The Sky

Sam: Oh my God. Did you see the animals falling from the sky?

Alex: What the heck are you talking about?

Sam: I'm sorry. I meant, it's raining animals.

Alex: Go to hell.

Sam: Okay. Allow me to rephrase. It's raining pets.

Alex: What pets?

Sam: Cats and dogs.

April Fools' Day

The teacher has informed the class that every student is to do a presentation on the following day, April 1, 2011. Alex figured that it is definitely a prank pulled by the teacher so she didn't prepare a thing.

On the next day, Alex was late to class. The moment she stepped into the classroom, the stage has been set and everyone was waiting for the first presenter. Upon seeing Alex, the teacher said, "Alright. Alex, you will be the first presenter of the day".

Alex stood there. She didn't prepare a thing, remember? The teacher told her to stop wasting time and say something.


Alex: ...April Fools'?

Your Good Isn't Good Enough?

Alex: What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

Sam: Make it good enough.

Alex: Don't be silly. How?

Sam: Add an 'enough' behind your good. Simple?

Copy Homework

In this beautiful evening, Alex and Sam are doing their respective school work in their respective rooms. Earlier in the day, Alex has requested Sam to legally download (yes, legally it is. don't you doubt that) a song for her. It is a Chinese song - 我是一只小小鸟 by Ding Dang, which indeed is a very nice song.

Anyways, after Alex received the song from Sam, she makes a copy and sends it back to him. Sam is perplexed by her act.


Sam: Hey. Why did you send the song back to me?

Alex: Eh? What's wrong?

Sam: I already have it, that's how I sent the song to you in the first place.

Alex: Yea. I know. But we have been doing this for a long time.

Sam: What have we been doing?

Alex: You lend your homework to me; I copy; I return it to you. Thus, you send a song to me; I copy; I send it back to you. Isn't it how this thing work?

Are You Sure?

All the time, people tend to throw you with the question of whether you are sure or not of certain issue; any issue. The thing is, we, sometimes, are in doubt when the question hit us. Nevertheless, now you don't have to worry about that anymore. Yes, Sam has come out with something, for you, and you, and you, again.


Sam: Imma treat you so well.

Alex: Are you sure?

Sam: No.

Alex: Huh?

Sam: I'm not Sure. I'm Sam.

Tom: Jerry Is In the Lab

Lately, Alex is busy with her lab test. There are a lot of experiments going on, conspicuously on mouses. Or you call it rats. Anyways, this day Alex came home for dinner but she has got to rush back to the lab after that. Alex complained to Sam about work while having dinner.


Alex: You have no idea how hard it is to handle a mouse in the lab.

Sam: I tried that before. It surprisingly was very easy. True story.

Alex: Your mouth is so full of shit.

Sam: I'm serious!

Alex: Yea? Explain to me how is it easy.

Sam: It is easy, when it is in a Computer lab.

I'm Not A Boy, Not Yet A Man

Who am I?


"I'm a Boyman!"


You know, like Batman, Superman, or Peter Pan. Okay. Maybe not Peter Pan.

The Best Joker Who

- A very nice girl who has just had a haircut reminded me by saying I'm the COLD JOKES MASTER (yes, her exact words). I told her there is actually this guy who is better than I. -

It is Alex's birthday and all she ever wanted is to get some peaceful moments without Sam's lame jokes.


Sam: Happy birthday! I won't make a joke on your big day. Don't worry.

Alex: Thank God! And thank you, best joker in town.

Sam: Perhaps. But I'm not the best.

Alex: Who is?

Sam: The one in the playing cards? You're welcome.


Did you actually think that Sam would leave Alex alone especially on her big day?

I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

So Alex and Sam were on the road back to their residence, while Alex heard this song sang by Britney Spears on the radio. She liked it; she asked Sam to look for the song and send to her later in the day.

In the night, Alex receives a file with the extension of .mp3. Upon seeing that, she furiously (yes, she gets angry easily) walks towards Sam's room and frantically knocks on his door. Sam opens the door.


Alex: What the hell?

Sam: You took my line.

Alex: Yea. So, what?

Sam: Nothing. What's up?

Alex: Where's my song?!

Sam: I already sent to your mailbox just now.

Alex: That isn't the song I wanted!

Sam: Yes. That is.

Alex: No. I wanted 'I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman'.

Sam: That is exactly what I sent you.

Alex: No! You sent me 'I'm A. . .Young. . . . .Lady. . . . . '.

Sam: Geddit?



Just in case you don't get it, please do not be shy to highlight the line below to check it out. We understand.

You just aren't shy, are you?

Open Days

Random College will be having its open days on this coming Saturday and Sunday. Alex was thinking maybe it would be nice to go to have a look at the happenings.


Alex: Hey, Sam! Remember what I talked to you about going to the open days on this coming weekend?

Sam: Yea. What about that?

Alex: Do you want to go with me?

Sam: Now you want me to be your plus-one.

Alex: !@#$%^&*( No. Seriously, do you want to go? Faster make up your mind. It's on this weekend.

Sam: Why this Saturday and Sunday? Can't I go on the next week?

Alex: But the open days are on this week!

Sam: What?! The college only opens for two days in a year now?

Solution To Mind-Focusing

Have you ever struggled to focus your mind when you cram for examinations or rush to finish a project due the following day? It is like heading towards an ill-fated destiny of sorts, however, rest assured that Sam had devised a solution. Alex was embattled in the same problem.


Alex: Ugh. This is awful.

Sam: What's wrong?

Alex: I'm having an assessment test tomorrow and I can't focus my damn mind.

Sam: Why do you have to focus your mind right now while the exam is on tomorrow?

Alex: I need to study, dude!

Sam: Study, really? I can help you with that but you owe me one.

Alex: Deal. Now what?

Sam: You need to change your lens. Which model are you using? Let me guess. Canon?